


False Ancient - The Child Experiment

by lori_yuy



Category: Dirge of Cerberus: Final Fantasy VII, Final Fantasy VII (Video Game 1997), Final Fantasy VII Remake (Video Game 2020)
Genre: Funny, Gen, Gross, lab horrors
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-03
Updated: 2020-07-03
Packaged: 2021-03-05 01:29:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,348
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25056220
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lori_yuy/pseuds/lori_yuy
Summary: Hojo presents baby Sephiroth to President Shinra....as a single father and as a scientist.Contains main game spoilers...take caution if you've only played Remake.
Relationships: Hojo & Sephiroth (Compilation of FFVII), Rufus Shinra & Tseng
Comments: 3
Kudos: 13





	False Ancient - The Child Experiment

The baby was born as any normal child would have been. There was nothing normal about this child however.

  
Professor Hojo observed the child carefully. It was his...his and Lucrecia's.  
And JENOVA's.

This is the first time they tried to re-create a full-blooded Ancient by infusing what is believed to be an Ancient's cells directly to a fetus while in the womb. It is perhaps the most exciting chapter in his career. President Shinra had approved of the project funding, the board members had seemingly agreed, but Hojo knew that the other board members really didn't approve of the kind of genius research work he does.

His eyes were green like the life blood of the planet itself, but his irises were cat-like and his hair an unnatural silver. Data sheet upon data sheet were recorded on him since the day of his birth. This was Professor Hojo's work, his masterpiece. Hojo had to read up on a couple of How to Care for Baby book series when he first received him after Lucrecia had gone and locked herself into a Mako crystal cave.

Thus far however, Hojo was a little disappointed at his so called masterpiece. The baby had only slept and ate, and slept some more. This was the first time he had him in the lab. The lab assistants had already performed several rounds of experiments with Mako on the baby since this morning.

Sephiroth, he decided to name him as something that might sound like what the Ancients would name their own. Currently, Sephiroth the baby was slung into a harness around his chest while he works around the lab. Reeve had offered to find someone who could babysit the child, but Hojo is not allowing anyone else to touch his master piece.

"Oh right I forgot to burp the baby..." he mumbled as he finished setting a sample into a diffuser.

Slowly, he lifted Sephiroth up from his sling, put him across his shoulder, and patted him on the back.  
"GEH....GEH....BURRRRRRPPPP."  
Something green-tinted and sludgy flew out of Sephiroth's mouth and landed on the back of his lab coat and across the lab floor.

"INTERESTING!!!" Hojo exclaimed loudly upon seeing the green tint.  
"So the baby vomits Mako...."

The same Mako that would otherwise make normal humans sick upon any close contact with the material. This baby had not only survived being bathed in it, but seemed to take a liking to it and naturally infused with the substance. How appropriate for an Ancient's descendant to be able to tolerate the life blood of the planet.

"I wonder if his excrements are also tinged with Mako....I must get a sample for analysis."  
With that, Hojo gathered a sampling strip and dabbed the Mako-tinted baby vomit from the floor and prepared the initial sample.

"Hey! Assistant over there, get me a fresh lab coat. I have stuff I need to do."

~...~

"Professor Hojo, a call from President Shinra. He is asking you to go up to the Executive Suite with Sephiroth." One of the assistants called out from the doorway to the lab.

Hojo had just finished taking a sample from Sephiroth then directly from the diaper.

  
"Ugh....of all times....I just got a fresh sample too...tell Mr. President I have an urgent matter at hand. I will be up after another 30 minutes."

Hojo then hurried to diffuse the sample he had taken.  
"Hmm if there is Mako traces in the fecal matter, I wonder if that means his...yes yes maybe."

  
A shrieking cry interrupted Hojo's hypothesis. He looked down at the baby fussing on the harness at his chest.

"What now? I just changed your diapers. ... Oh are you hungry again?" He scribbled a quick note onto a pad of sticky notes in front of him before feeding Sephiroth for the tenth time since morning.

'Ancient blood, seemingly higher than normal metabolism, constantly hungry. Defecates Mako.'

~...~

"Professor Hojo..." President Shinra looked up from the executive desk as Hojo stepped into the suite.

  
A young boy, maybe 3 or 4 years of age, popped his head out from under the same desk. Blue eyes, blond hair.

Ah yes, the President's only legitimate child.

  
To the right, Director Veld stood, another 3 or 4 year old, seemingly of Wutaiian descent peeked out from behind Veld's legs.

"When did you get a kid Director Veld?" Hojo eyed the child like a predator.

Veld scoffed at him. "Just a few months ago, and Tseng here belongs to the Turks, YOU are not allowed to snatch him for experiments."

  
"Hmm too bad...he seems to have interesting...properties." Hojo continued.

  
Veld was none too pleased with Hojo's keen senses that the Wutaiian boy he had picked up for the Turks was special.

"Veld, hold on to your horses, Professor Hojo, quit it with the jokes, Tseng's designated playmate to Rufus, don't make me regret having you around."

Ah .... so the boy was truly off limits.

"Anyways, is that Sephiroth?" President Shinra interrupted the tense air that had risen in the room.  
"Why YES. THIS is Sephiroth." Hojo stepped closer to the President's desk and held the baby out as if presenting the next King of the world.

"He's only a baby. What can you gather on him?"  
"OH VERY INTERESTING things have already been gathered Mr. President. For one, he has already shown through multiple experiments that he is Mako-resistant, most likely even infusing with Mako when saturated in the substance. Secondly, his eyes and hair are already showing signs that he is different on the cellular level. His metabolism and strength are also charted above normal for his age."

President Shinra had a pleased look on his face. "Do you think Sephiroth will help lead us to the Promised Land one day?"

  
"That Mr. President remains to be seen, but I am confident his current lab results are promising. Oh an interesting tidbit I gathered JUST this morning. Sephiroth's vomit contains traces of Mako. WOULD YOU LIKE TO SEE?" Hojo was a little too enthusiastic at times.

Director Veld and even President Shinra himself made a face of disgust.  
"That is not necessary Professor."

  
Too late. Hojo held the baby out with one hand and sent a hard pat across the baby's back with the other.

  
A cry from the baby then all of a sudden, green-tinted projectile vomit spewed across the gap of where Hojo was standing onto the President's desk. Luckily none of it landed on the President's face.

Little Rufus took off and hid behind Veld's legs with Tseng.

"That's disgusting Hojo, please don't do that again." Veld looked like he's had it for the day.

"YOUR kids can't vomit Mako." Hojo retorted.

"Is there any resources you're going to need?" President Shinra pressed, annoyance already on his voice.

  
"Mr. President, all things considered, Sephiroth is going to be the greatest asset Shinra will ever possess. May I ask for a little extra security and funds to provide for my labs?" Hojo made his arguments.

"Director Veld, please take note of Sephiroth, I am assigning the Turks an extra task to keep him safe. Do you understand?"

"Yes Mr. President."

"Also, call up a cleaning crew immediately and take care of this mess. Rufus, you're pathetic." President Shinra said with undisguised revulsion as he looked at his son hiding behind Veld.

Hojo scowled and turned around to leave. Nobody was touching his boy, not even the Turks, even if their orders were to protect his master piece.

  
He WILL make Sephiroth into the strongest there is, no Turk will out-rank or out-strengthen his boy. No human in fact. Sephiroth and him will become the new Gods of this old world... one day.

On the way down to his labs, he thought back on Veld's boy. There was something....some lore he had read about the Wutaiian people with the mark on their foreheads.

Oh that's right. Weird aging mechanisms. What an interesting concept. He'll just have to make-do with remote observations on that one for now.

**Author's Note:**

> I take full responsibility for this cursed piece of fanfiction. I just wanted to write a crack fic about Sephiroth throwing up on Hojo and President Shinra.


End file.
